Not for me this time!

We went to the doctor today, but this time I was sidelined and the girls took center stage. We were there for nearly 2 hours in a very hot room, no food allowed and a Harper monkey that could not sit still. Here is how it went:
-Nurse takes Lucy for weigh in- she is still just under 30 pounds. She had her eyes checked, her hearing checked, etc, etc. She is perfect (or "practically perfect in every way", as Mary Poppins, and Lucy say).
-Nurse tries to take Harper for her weigh in. Harper takes off running and giggling. The games have begun. Finally, after some tackling, she weighs in at 18 pounds. A peanut, as we all knew.
-Doc comes in to take a look at both girls. Harper runs around the examining room, yelling to "get down" or "hold you" or "sit down" every 30 seconds. At least the doc is impressed with her use of phrases. Lucy goes through her routine, showing off, writing her name, telling of her many adventures. Lucy then gets up on the exam table because she wants to help with Harper. This actually works and Harper sits still for at least 3 minutes. Miraculous.
-For no known reason, Harper begins throwing tantrum that will last for the next 20 minutes or so.
-We sit. And sit. And sit. We get hot, very hot. I am out of toys. I open the door to cool things off a bit and to hopefully remind them that we have been there for quite a while.
-The nurse arrives to give me a flu shot, then Lucy, then Harper. Lucy argues that she wants to go first. With a very brave attitude she accepts a Flumist in the nose, and 4 shots. Watery eyes, but no real tears and she is ready for her rewards- 2 stickers and a homemade milkshake when we get home. I accept my flu shot, almost as courageously. Harper is next. She lays down on the exam table and says "night night" and pretends to go to sleep. She is "awakened" with a jab in the leg, followed by two more shots. She cries, but only for a minute. We pack up hurriedly to get the heck out of there.
-I begin having Braxton Hicks contractions and it takes me a bit longer to fill out paperwork then the girls appreciate, still they are fairly good at the counter...until...
-A crusty little boys walks up, takes the sticker box out of Lucy's hand, handles everything in the area with his grubby hands, keeps touching Harper and telling her that she is "bad" and keeps grabbing my hand to tell me random bits of information that I could care less about because I am in the middle of a contraction and just trying to get out of the office. As we are leaving, his dad says, "No, you can't go play in the waiting room, you are too contagious and you will get your germs on everything". I guess we didn't count in his father's precautionary tale.
- We leave hoping that the antibacterial I just doused the girls in will kill anything that kid had just passed onto us and know that we will have to return in just a few days to that dreaded office, this time with Baby Boy Jefferies in tow. For now, it is time for vanilla milkshakes with extra whipped cream and cherries on top. We all have earned it.